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emotional well being

The Truth About Feng Shui and Love

dreamstimefree_37481Although spring takes most of the credit, social scientists say that it is really in the autumn that a young man’s – and everyone else’s – fancy turn to love.  Perhaps it is because the idea of the long, cold nights spent alone is so unappealing – or the prospect of a lonely holiday season spent by yourself saddens you or, scarier even, facing the relatives and endless gatherings without the support of a loved one. So now is the time to seek out new relationships or turn attention to nurturing the ones we already have.  After all, basking in the love brings the sparkle into the season – and our lives.  But, what do you do if the love seems to be eroding or is just not there?

Love is hard to define just as is the qi energy of Feng Shui but even if we don’t know how to define it, we do know the effects.  And the Feng Shui in our homes does have a powerful effect on our love life.

It is easy to go on line or pick up a Western Feng Shui style book and read about the mandarin ducks, the placement of symbols of your love, crystals, candles, matching night stands and pictures of your lover in the room.  And adding and using these objects and wishes may work – for a short time – because you put intention behind it and intention is a powerful thing.  But they are also very generic and the problem with generic remedies is that they are so, well, generic and we and our relationships are not. Our situations are all different and so are our homes.  In fact, there are 216 different house combinations with many more relationship qi energy combinations.

To find the love qi in our homes we need to do a compass based Feng Shui Flying Star audit.  To do this we need a floor plan, a compass, a determination of the sitting and facing direction of the house, and the construction date of the house.  Then we map out the qi energy or “fly the stars.”   Complicated?  Yes, a bit, but then, so are our relationships.  Specific?  Yes, an analysis can be very specific.  For instance, an analysis can tell you if you are sleeping in your “Lonely Pillow” direction (which means you will be sleeping alone) or if the stars in your bedroom or main entrance are the cheating stars.  There is a combination that defines a specific unequal relationship – when a woman is dominating the hen-pecked husband – and this cannot be remedied by making sure the night stands are equal!  Feng Shui can tell you so much more about your love and relationships but it is something that cannot just be seen by looking around the room; it is the unseen qi analysis that will reveal all.

It is difficult for a trained compass based Feng Shui practitioner to give out generic advice because of the specificity that we can reach.  Still, I agree with the Western Feng Shui practitioners that it is important to keep the bedroom and front entrance clutter free and to find symbols that will honor your love.  But more important than this, is to take the time to love yourself and your loved ones.  Simple acts of love and kindness can brighten your day and that of those you love.  And when you are ready, give me a call and we can find out what is really going on in your love life.

STEP IN, STEP UP AND STEP THROUGH

When we begin any project or embark on a new journey, career, challenge or direction we usually say something like –
It’s time to step up to the plate
A new door is opening and I am stepping through
I’m ready to take the next step

And, when we say that, we feel as if we are going through a vortex, an opening, a new phase. And that symbolic feeling is made physical and literal when we walk down hallways and enter and exit through doorways. We are always going somewhere.

Every time we go in or out our front door, we are transitioning to a new experience. When we exit it we open ourselves up to new adventures, contacts, communications and experiences found in the outside world. When we return, we are looking for that place of relaxation, solace and comfort we find in being at home. That doorway is the place of transition.
In the wonderful world of Feng Shui we look at the front door as “the mouth of chi,” the place where all energy and opportunity enter. Energy and opportunity enter through the front door in the same way we physically enter the house. A clean, attractive, well-lit, and well-maintained front door can create an opening where energy, love and opportunity want to enter. Your front door is the connection, the literal threshold, the portal between your inner and outer world. For more information please refer to my earlier (and first) article on front door Feng Shui.

But the exterior of the front door is not the only area of transition. To get to the other rooms of our home we walk down hallways and through doorways. We are transitioning. When we walk into the kitchen we feel different and expect different activities, interactions, feelings and experiences than we do when we enter our bedrooms, or baths or family rooms.
We want the transition to feel easy and natural. We want our home experience to refresh, rejuvenate and relax us. So we could borrow some tips from the care and feeding of the front door entrance and apply them to our hallways and doorways to other rooms in the house. This, too, will bring a positive flow of chi to other areas of our home.

The Anatomy of Emotion- Joy

Joy is not a word I hear too often.

It appears on Christmas cards, in the writings of therapists and coaches, in spiritual and religious sermons but I can’t remember the last time I heard the word spoken in everyday conversation. We say things are great, we’re happy or even cool. But we don’t often say we feel joy.

It makes me wonder- can joy be secular as well as sacred?

The Anatomy of Emotion- Anger

Anger affects our bodies very differently. When we hold onto anger or take offense we lose this feeling of flow and instead feel tight, inflexible and constricted. We build a shield, a coat of armor to protect us from what has attacked our sense of happiness. But this shield is not protecting us. Internalizing anger makes us feel stuck, hard. The feeling of space disappears and we become smaller, isolated. Even our breathing, once effortless becomes difficult.

My little neighbor came home from school fuming over something her best friend did to her. She told me she would never talk to her again but the next day found them together playing in her backyard. Later I asked her what happened. She told me, with quite a serious look on her face, that being angry at her friend just hurt too much.

Holding onto anger is holding onto another piece of clutter, of past energies, of feelings that no longer serve. When we are angry we actually relinquish our power because the focus moves quickly beyond the issue to the holding on of emotions that do not make us feel good. Nothing takes us further away from being in the moment than the holding on of anger.

Feeling anger is natural. It is an emotion, a feeling, a barometer that helps us stay true to ethical and moral convictions. Anger is a message that something is not right. We need anger but we do not need to stay in anger. Anger is not foreign to love. We are only truly angry when we feel we are not being heard, when communication is being blocked. Staying in anger fuels these blockages.

Righteous anger can be used for the positive. Seeing an injustice and choosing to do something about it can be healing and life affirming. But holding the anger inside and not having the ability to create movement with or beyond it, is self-destructive. The anger becomes the issue rather than the act that caused the anger. The person we are angry with may feel the effects of our anger but never as strongly as we do!

The Art of Blessing

Take a breath, sit back, relax and enjoy this inspirational journey of love, beauty and blessings. Let the words and images flow through and over you. A simple blessing is more than a promise, it can the power of transformation. Bless and be blessed.

The words are by Pierre Pradervand from his book “The Gentle Art of Blessing”

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To discover the beautiful person that lies within. Transcend your everyday limits and let your intuition take flight.

The Anatomy of Emotion- Happiness

Anatomy may disagree with mom, it actually does take a few more muscles to smile than to frown, but it sure takes a lot more energy to stay mad than to be happy.

Happiness flows. It finds space inside of us and runs up and down the channels and meridian systems and smoothes out all the jagged edges. When we are happy, our bodies feel relaxed, flexible, and we experience an ease of movement. We feel alive and spacious. Understandable then that the Sanskrit word for happiness, Sukha, is also translated as unobstructed space. And this suggests that perhaps happiness is an energy that is felt when it is allowed to move freely.

Being happy creates space. It creates space for the energy of happiness, joy and love to flow. It allows movement, creativity and expansion. Happiness is infectious and we know that smiles and laughter brighten the hearts of those who give, receive and even observe these gestures of happiness.

Thank you for reading my blog.

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