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The Truth About Feng Shui and Love
Although spring takes most of the credit, social scientists say that it is really in the autumn that a young man’s – and everyone else’s – fancy turn to love. Perhaps it is because the idea of the long, cold nights spent alone is so unappealing – or the prospect of a lonely holiday season spent by yourself saddens you or, scarier even, facing the relatives and endless gatherings without the support of a loved one. So now is the time to seek out new relationships or turn attention to nurturing the ones we already have. After all, basking in the love brings the sparkle into the season – and our lives. But, what do you do if the love seems to be eroding or is just not there?
Love is hard to define just as is the qi energy of Feng Shui but even if we don’t know how to define it, we do know the effects. And the Feng Shui in our homes does have a powerful effect on our love life.
It is easy to go on line or pick up a Western Feng Shui style book and read about the mandarin ducks, the placement of symbols of your love, crystals, candles, matching night stands and pictures of your lover in the room. And adding and using these objects and wishes may work – for a short time – because you put intention behind it and intention is a powerful thing. But they are also very generic and the problem with generic remedies is that they are so, well, generic and we and our relationships are not. Our situations are all different and so are our homes. In fact, there are 216 different house combinations with many more relationship qi energy combinations.
To find the love qi in our homes we need to do a compass based Feng Shui Flying Star audit. To do this we need a floor plan, a compass, a determination of the sitting and facing direction of the house, and the construction date of the house. Then we map out the qi energy or “fly the stars.” Complicated? Yes, a bit, but then, so are our relationships. Specific? Yes, an analysis can be very specific. For instance, an analysis can tell you if you are sleeping in your “Lonely Pillow” direction (which means you will be sleeping alone) or if the stars in your bedroom or main entrance are the cheating stars. There is a combination that defines a specific unequal relationship – when a woman is dominating the hen-pecked husband – and this cannot be remedied by making sure the night stands are equal! Feng Shui can tell you so much more about your love and relationships but it is something that cannot just be seen by looking around the room; it is the unseen qi analysis that will reveal all.
It is difficult for a trained compass based Feng Shui practitioner to give out generic advice because of the specificity that we can reach. Still, I agree with the Western Feng Shui practitioners that it is important to keep the bedroom and front entrance clutter free and to find symbols that will honor your love. But more important than this, is to take the time to love yourself and your loved ones. Simple acts of love and kindness can brighten your day and that of those you love. And when you are ready, give me a call and we can find out what is really going on in your love life.
Feng Shui In The Garden
It’s spring so I have to write about Feng Shui and the garden. I was also spurred on by the snippet of Yahoo News I saw the other day – did you see it, too? It was about watermelons exploding in fields in China. It seems that an excess of rain coupled with an excess of growth hormones lead to a bursting of these melons. Now I call this bad Feng Shui!
Gardens and living plants are great for your Feng Shui.
The outside environment around the house was one of the original Feng Shui concerns and it remains so today. It was important to make sure the house was adequately protected from the harsh elements. This may not be as evident today when most of us live in suburbia, planned developments or urban environments but correct house placement included knowledge of wind breaks, natural barriers to flood water and an arm chair shaped landscaping to protect and hold in the positive chi energy. This was done with the natural lay of the land, the planting of trees and hedges and the building of walls. The concept of creating gardens for beauty came a bit later when people had time for more leisure activities and moved to a place when they seemingly had their environment under a bit more control.
Today there is a new school of thought on Feng Shui gardens based on the western schools interpretation of the Bagua. To create a Feng Shui one must use the Bagua as the template and follow the guidelines for colors and elements. I have seen some beautiful gardens that followed this plan and I have seen some wonderful gardens that don’t.
As a practitioner of the Classic school of Feng Shui I am not bound by the same concept. A garden must provide protection, as mentioned above and it should above all be a place where wildlife, serenity and beauty have a home.
One’s outside environment can greatly affect the Feng Shui of the house. The shape of the lot can tell us about the owner’s relation to money: does money come easily but flow out too quickly, does money come in slowly as wealth continues to build, does the perimeter of the property sustain good qi for the owner? Remedies that are placed outside can be very strong and powerful. But these remedies, as in all remedies in classical Feng Shui are specific and unique to the house trigram. For example, a water feature in the correct location can turn on the flow of wealth or release a locked house. But pacing a water feature in the wrong direction can drown the good chi making relationships and finances worse.
Feng Shui tip: The installation of a pool, pond or large fountain will affect the energy pattern of your house so do not install or build without consulting a classic Feng Shui practitioner. Instead of enhancing your life it could become a saboteur.
If this is the case, can planting a garden based on the Bagua be harmful instead of productive? No, not really because the remedies featured, usually a small fountain or metal sculpture, are usually too small to be considered true cures or remedies so they will probably not be strong enough to create a negative energy pattern. So, follow your heart and eye and create the garden you love. Seeing and experiencing beauty is one of the greatest gifts we will ever be given.
All Feng Shui schools are based on similar concepts so no matter if your Feng Shui is western based or follows the classical knowledge there are fundamental concepts followed by all. Some of these are:
Yin/yang philosophical concepts were utmost in mind when planting a garden or installing landscaping – there is sun, there is shade, there is light and dark. Too many trees shading a house can make it too dark leading to depression, not enough green makes one tired and drains the energy. Too much sun can lead to headaches and feelings of desperation.
For a Feng Shui love tip: make sure your house is not overgrown with or too tall bushes and shrubs around the house. This creates a feeling of isolation where the good chi is not invited in. For a classical practitioner, this look is stereotypical of a single, middle aged woman who is not allowing love into her life.
Energy, chi, likes to meander rather than zoom through straight lines. If you have garden paths let them curve rather than be the quickest route from one place to another. After all, gardens are contemplative places where one goes to sooth the soul. Borders also should be curved although I know this to be a personal preference and I do not believe the Feng Shui of the garden is ruined with straight borders. The plants in the border themselves have flowing lines and this softens the strict look.
Looking for a great but different book on gardening check out Why We Garden: Cultivating a Sense of Place
The Anatomy of Emotion- Joy
Joy is not a word I hear too often.
It appears on Christmas cards, in the writings of therapists and coaches, in spiritual and religious sermons but I can’t remember the last time I heard the word spoken in everyday conversation. We say things are great, we’re happy or even cool. But we don’t often say we feel joy.
It makes me wonder- can joy be secular as well as sacred?
The Anatomy of Emotion- Anger
Anger affects our bodies very differently. When we hold onto anger or take offense we lose this feeling of flow and instead feel tight, inflexible and constricted. We build a shield, a coat of armor to protect us from what has attacked our sense of happiness. But this shield is not protecting us. Internalizing anger makes us feel stuck, hard. The feeling of space disappears and we become smaller, isolated. Even our breathing, once effortless becomes difficult.
My little neighbor came home from school fuming over something her best friend did to her. She told me she would never talk to her again but the next day found them together playing in her backyard. Later I asked her what happened. She told me, with quite a serious look on her face, that being angry at her friend just hurt too much.
Holding onto anger is holding onto another piece of clutter, of past energies, of feelings that no longer serve. When we are angry we actually relinquish our power because the focus moves quickly beyond the issue to the holding on of emotions that do not make us feel good. Nothing takes us further away from being in the moment than the holding on of anger.
Feeling anger is natural. It is an emotion, a feeling, a barometer that helps us stay true to ethical and moral convictions. Anger is a message that something is not right. We need anger but we do not need to stay in anger. Anger is not foreign to love. We are only truly angry when we feel we are not being heard, when communication is being blocked. Staying in anger fuels these blockages.
Righteous anger can be used for the positive. Seeing an injustice and choosing to do something about it can be healing and life affirming. But holding the anger inside and not having the ability to create movement with or beyond it, is self-destructive. The anger becomes the issue rather than the act that caused the anger. The person we are angry with may feel the effects of our anger but never as strongly as we do!
The Art of Blessing
Take a breath, sit back, relax and enjoy this inspirational journey of love, beauty and blessings. Let the words and images flow through and over you. A simple blessing is more than a promise, it can the power of transformation. Bless and be blessed.
The words are by Pierre Pradervand from his book “The Gentle Art of Blessing”
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To discover the beautiful person that lies within. Transcend your everyday limits and let your intuition take flight.
The Anatomy of Emotion- Happiness
Anatomy may disagree with mom, it actually does take a few more muscles to smile than to frown, but it sure takes a lot more energy to stay mad than to be happy.
Happiness flows. It finds space inside of us and runs up and down the channels and meridian systems and smoothes out all the jagged edges. When we are happy, our bodies feel relaxed, flexible, and we experience an ease of movement. We feel alive and spacious. Understandable then that the Sanskrit word for happiness, Sukha, is also translated as unobstructed space. And this suggests that perhaps happiness is an energy that is felt when it is allowed to move freely.
Being happy creates space. It creates space for the energy of happiness, joy and love to flow. It allows movement, creativity and expansion. Happiness is infectious and we know that smiles and laughter brighten the hearts of those who give, receive and even observe these gestures of happiness.
Intentions and Relative Positioning
All western and modern Feng Shui schools recognize the power of intention and attraction in creating the life you want. The secret was never a secret to those who practice conscious Feng Shui. Having beneficial chi flow through your home and environment is so coupled with the idea of raising your vibration to attract loving partners and situations that there is no clear cut way to determine whether the internal or external Feng Shu came first. When good, kind, loving things happen to you, your view of your environment changes, when your environment changes for the better, you also change for the better. No matter where you stand in the debate doesn’t matter (is this the chicken and the egg question?), when you consider that it is all about enhancing the quality of your life.
The Black Sect Tantric Buddhist School of Feng Shui aka Black Hat Feng Shui has an official Theory of Relative Positioning. It states that the closer a part of the environment is to you, the more impact it has on your chi. Since nothing is closer to you than your body and mind, the first step is the understanding that you can change your inner thoughts and belief patterns to those that create a positive, receptive, harmonious energetic flow. This is the art and skill of using your emotions, thoughts, words, intention and attention to strengthen and give power to a positive view of your immediate inner and outer environment and give less attention to those vibrations that weaken your or bring you down. By doing this we create the environment which can attract the kind of love we want.
It is difficult to continually monitor one’s thoughts but with practice it is very do-able. And it is of course easier when everywhere you look in your home you are surrounded by things that uplift your heart and soul. We have often spoken about the need to surround yourself with things you love in order to bring you constant reminders of joy when you look around your home.
Feel the love and beauty that is around you. And one powerful Feng Shui tip to aid you in your quest– pay attention to where your mirrors are positioned and what they are reflecting. Mirrors that face the outside and bring in images of traffic going by or dark corners of the house just bring in more of that energy. Love what is being reflected and your life will become a reflection of love.
So, during this Lunar New Year time continue to work on heightening your thoughts, energy and vibrations. This will only attract more vibrations of love to you.
Continuing the ranking of those environmental areas that affect you and your personal chi are: bed, bedroom, home, yard, neighborhood, city, county, world and the universe.
Love Through The Holidays: the Feng Shui Way
The holidays are a wonderful time of entertaining, partying, gift giving and sharing with family, friends and people that will soon become more than strangers. At the same time, everybody knows
that the holidays are traditionally the most stressful time of the year. Here come the in-laws and the outlaws, the dizzy aunt and the grumpy uncle, the brother who used to pull your hair and the sister who always seemed to get more than you. 
Add to that the office parties, the endless fruit cakes and intake of high calorie treats, the money rolling out, the credit cards adding up and where has the time gone? What’s happening? This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, the most loving time of the year, the most joyous time of the year.
The simple truth is holidays don’t have to be a stressful time. Your knowledge and application of Feng Shui can bring back the magic, love and appreciation of the blessings the season has to give.
Many of our stresses are habitual. We tend to throw ourselves back into the past, into roles that no longer serve us. Since the memories of the holidays are so strong in the collective memory of each member of the family there is a tendency to hold onto the past. We can cherish the past but also honor where we are now – a mature person who has grown and moved forward from the days of old.
- Imagine relating to others as the person you are now not as the timid and shy girl who hid in the corner.
- Imagine knowing how to acknowledge the opinion of others without having to argue, judge or defend.
- Imagine being able to bless and forgive those who hurt you in past – after all, you have the gift of growth while others may still be stuck in patterns you have long outgrown.
- Imagine not having to apologize for you who are
- Imagine feeling okay if the dinner didn’t turn out perfectly or it looks like Charlie Brown was your decorator
As you continue to build and apply your Feng Shui knowledge you can go from imagining to being. You are an original and there will never be another you. This, in itself, makes you worthy of love. And the one person you really need to receive love from is you. Imagine that possibility! 
Because once you love yourself you can only attract others who love you as well. It’s law.
Remember, your home and the objects in it are a metaphor for you and your life. So if there are things in there that you do not love and/or do not make you happy when you look at the, let them go. Donate them, throw them out, or put them in storage if you are not ready. Re-read the article on de-cluttering and make a start on clearing out the old. Imagine the old stories, the need to please and the need to be perfect going out the door with the discarded items.
Surround yourself with what you love and what strengthens you and you will grow strong with internal love. One of my favorite tips-
Make sure that the first thing you look at in the morning is something you find beautiful. This can be a picture, a sculpture, or the way the sunlight shines on the wall.
Tune in next week and we will take a walk around the bagua together, finding ways to bring the beauty and love seamlessly into your holiday season.
Thank you for reading my blog.